So, I’m a night owl. It’s been an inescapable problem for me pretty much since I hit puberty way back in the stone age. I do not function well before 9am. I can “perform” for a while– I managed to be an early bird all the way through 2 years of nursing school– but at best it’s a performance. And, really, I do not function before 9am. There are plenty of people who have tried to speak to me at, say, 7 in the morning, only to be met with a blank stare. It really didn’t make me popular on clinical days, I can tell ya.
Having my oldest daughter graduate from high school only let me indulge myself more. Now I didn’t /have/ to get up at oh-my-why-am-I-up-so-early, I could sleep in with the little boys and my daughter would get her siblings on the school bus. Heaven.
Gradually, I started staying up later and later and sleeping in later and later, until now, where we’re at the point where I am not functioning at all during the daytime. Stephen King’s latest novel lured me down the final precipice two nights ago. I stayed up all night to finish reading it, then slept until 4 in the afternoon. The day was shot.
So, I tried to go to bed last night at something approximating a decent hour, but I couldn’t fall asleep and I ended up (again) sleeping most of the day. This is not how I want things to be– I’ve got a kindergartner to teach, a novel to finish writing, a house to clean, pack, and paint, and a toddler to spoil. I can’t do any of those things if I’m zonked out.
Tonight’s my reboot. I’m not exactly happy about it, but I’ve got to make it happen. I’ve got a stack of books to read, a pot of tea to sip, and the internet to keep me occupied. I’ll probably be a zombie by the time my hubs gets home this evening, but I know myself. If I just try to wake up on time, without driving myself to exhaustion first, I will NOT wake up. I’ll make excuses and pull the covers over my head and nap even as the little boys jump on the bed and watch cartoons. Definitely not the parenting style I was going for. My daughter tries to manage them, but she’s 18 and, let’s face it, she doesn’t have enough experience with managing toddlers to even begin to manage these two rowdy little Texans. I doubt I could have managed the Ninja and the Tank back when I was a new mom. WAY too much drama. I’d have spent most of my time weeping in frustration.
So, I’ll be up for the next, ohhh, 18 hours? Seems about right. Might as well start the evening off right and go run a load of laundry. That’s one thing that I love to do at night when everyone else is sleeping. No one to toss the clean clothes in the air like confetti . .. ah well. I’ll get as much done as I can tonight. Tomorrow . . . will have to be a new day.
I don’t promise that I’ll be coherent before 9am, though.